The Fast Show

The Fast Show is a BBC comedy sketch program ran in the mid 1990s. It was very loosely structured and relied heavily on character comedy, long-running gags, and endless catchphrases which would be repeated across the nation the morning after each show was aired.

Many catch phrases from the program have entered use in British English, and many of the comedians have now become household names: Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day, Mark Williams, John Thomson and Arabella Weir. The show featured many famous characters, including:

• Jesse (and his strange diets),

This week I have mostly been eating ...

• Bob Fleming, host of Country Matters, has an extremely bad cough, friends with sneezing Clive Tucker, hiccupping Murtagh Blethyn and, of course, Jed Thomas, the man who can't stop saying 'ARSE!.
• Rowley Birkin QC, drunk old upper class man telling stories by the fire,

... I'm afraid I was very, very drunk.

• Competitive Dad,
• Rude South African department store cosmetics sales woman,
• Ted & Ralf, country squire Lord Ralph Mayhew attempts to strike up an intimate relationship with his estate worker Ted,
• Dave Angel, Eco-Warrior,
• Friendly but naked newlyweds,
• Chanel 9, foreign television channel based on a combination of languages.

Bono Estente, Hefefefefefe hefefefefefef ef, Chris Waddle. Boutros Boutros Gali.

• Mr. Brilliant,
• Colin Hunt, unfunny office practacal joker,

Collin Hunt's office trolly, geddit? *whack*

• Arthur Atkinson, parody of 1940s music hall entertainers, introduced by Tommy Cockles,
• Ron Manager,
• Jeff the Deaf Stuntman,
• Unlucky Alf,
• Louis Balfour, presenter of Jazz Club,

Ummm, Nice!

• Ken and Kenneth, the Suit you tailers, bombard potential customers with suggestions about their private life,
• Mr. 'You ain't seen me, roight?'
• The irritating rambler,
• The 13th Duke of Wybourne, posh, rumpled dinner jacketed, cigar smoker, finds himself in unsuitable places,

''Me, the 13th duke of Wybourne, here? In a student nurses' halls of residence? With my reputation? What do they take me for?

• Carl Hooper, Australian presenter of That's Amazing,
• Billy Bleach, pub know it all who gets it all wrong,
• Archie the pub bore,
• Checkout Girl, comments on every purchase,
• John Actor, plays Monkfish, the tough uncompromising cop,
• Johnny Nice Painter, goes insane at the sight of the colour black,
• Geoffrey Norman MP, Tory politician, denies everything,
• The Offroaders, filmed by their friend Baz while they try impressive estreme sports, but fail to hide the fact that they're crap,
• Insecure Woman, Does my bum look big in this?,
• Janine Carr, teenage mum with a unique world outlook,
• Patric Nice, has amazing luck, but remains very calm. Wins lottery twice in a row, and sees R.E.M perform an inpromptue concert at the ceremony where his son is awarded the nobel price for chemistry,

...and I was rummaging around in the attic and I found the original copy of the Bible. Which was nice.

• Ron Manager, nonsense talking football punditt,

It's a far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Isn't it? Mmmmm. Marvellous.

• Roy and Renee, endless chattering from Renee,
• Swiss Toni, car salesman, compares everything to making love to a beautifull woman,

Fitting a carpet is much like making love to a beautifull woman. You lay her out, pin her down and walk all over her.

• Unlucky Alf, lonely old pensioner for whom nothing ever goes right.

A great favourite of Johnny Depp ("An American Gentleman").

External Links

• www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow